In My Humble Opinion...

Republicans and National Security

Yesterday
1 comment

I know that in my writings I come off as quite Liberal leaning, but in many things I have a strong conservative background. I believe in smaller government that requires less taxation, equal rights for everyone, the rule of law, and accountable government. These days the Canadian conservative government gets high marks for everything on that list except for accountable government. It's hard to follow what they're up to, and while when scandals arrive they're quickly brought above board, they're still doing a lot behind the scenes that aren't apparent to the majority of the people. But overall I say they've been doing a great job and I'd vote them in again.

The United States Republicans by contrast are a fucking disgrace. They act like a group of inbred gun-happy hicks randomly flipping switches in a nuclear power plant and then firing off random shots in the air in celebration when a light show occurs.

I could continue this metaphor by saying that all around this Nuclear Power Plant and the town nearby is an apple orchard of trees neatly planted in a row, but to the inbred hicks inside the plant this orchard is a vast and dangerous forest teeming with dangerous beasts and outlaws. Nightly they rush out into the orchard to steal fruit from the trees whenever one of the farmer's hands comes out to challenge their thievery they shoot their guns off at him and burn parts of the orchard then return to the plant and the town with stories of how they were attacked and that the orchard hands are going to attack the town and the plant and that they hate Nuclear Power because they are jealous of the towns prosperity.

Meanwhile the townspeople are trying to get the power plant technicians that actually know what the hell they're doing back in charge of the plant, but the inbreeds tell them that the technicians are elitist and won't protect the power plant from the outlaws and wild beasts in the surrounding wilderness, and whenever one of the townspeople speaks up too loudly against the hicks they accuse him of being in cahoots with the outlaws in the wilderness and lock him up.

And now they're in the process of killing all the orchard's farmers and burning the farms and then wondering why the townspeople are complaining that the cost of food is too high.

This is the state of the Republican party in the United States and it disgusts me.

George Bush declares that Iran is the enemy of the US, and it is. It's an enemy because the United States has made it so. Since the 60's the US has been meddling in Iranian affairs over oil without remorse. They've been trying to provoke Iran to attack them but this treatment is akin to my father bashing a five-year-old with the butt of his rifle in the hopes that the kid will stand up and take a swing. In 1988 a United States Destroyer the USS Vinchennes shot down an Iranian Civilian Passenger Plane flying in Iranian Airspace. The commanding officers of the Vinchennes were given awards for their act, and George Bush Senior announced that the United States would never apologize for killing those civilians. This was just one of many attempts to make Iran attack the states. To this day the US has embargoes against Iran stopping Boing from selling the Iranian government parts to repair it's ailing fleet of passenger planes. The international community has heavily criticized the States for this because these planes are now a danger to everyone who flies on them. They are in-effect causing innocent civilians to die in an attempt to provoke the Iranians.

The latest tactic has been to get Israel to make passes at Iran. And then when Iran said they would defend themselves if attacked Senator Clinton announced in lock-step with George Bush and John McCain that she would not hesitate to dispatch Nukes against Iran.

This is not making the citizens of the United States safer. Every time the US government presumes to get in the business of another nation it upsets the people of that country. Get them mad enough and of course they will fight back. This reminds me of a story I heard once from an old Pipeline operator who found a group of drug addled pipeliners who had come across a wolverine who had been caught by his hind leg in a bear trap. They were poking it with a stick and laughing every time the wolverine lunged at them and got caught up on the trap's chain.

Now everyone believes that Iran is trying to build nukes to bomb the US, why wouldn't they after all the abuse they've received so-far? I'll tell you why. Iran is currently sitting on one of the world's largest supplies of Oil in the world, part of this oil is nationalized meaning the government gets a percentage of all Oil that comes out of the ground. This is why the US wants to overthrow the Iranian government because then the oil companies could run unfettered in Iran and produce as much or as little oil there as they want. However, currently Iran sells a large percentage of their Oil to India, and China. If Iran were attacked, India and China would step into the fray to protect their own energy interests. Russia would join by default backing them. It would be World War 3, and whoever attacked Iran would LOSE.

No one can afford to go to war with Iran. And considering that Iranians have put up with so much already I don't think they'd make the mistake of striking out so late in the game if their enemies quietly stepped off their back. These are people who don't hate the United States for what they have or their lifestyle, these are people who hate the United States for what it's leaders and their invasive foreign policy have done to them. If the United States stopped these policies then it's people would be safer and more secure. So, for those U.S. citizens who believe that the Republicans are the only ones who can keep you safe, I ask you to carefully examine the facts and realize that the actions of the Bush administration these past 8 years has made you anything but.

What Tracts are Good For

3 days ago
7 comments

Miz Shush posted a really great post on evangelism a bit ago and I felt I'd throw my own two cents in on the topic.

Up until 3 years ago I'd never seen a Chick Tract, I didn't even know what one was. I honestly don't think that breed of Evangelical Christian can survive the cold up here. The first hint of their existence was from this comic:

20020428

My first experience coming across a real one was with my good friend Kyle back when he was working as a late night clerk at a gas bar several years ago. We were in the store hanging out when a burly biker-type walked in and told us how he was a repo man and was returning from Alaska to his home in Arkansas with a car he'd just repossessed. We were fairly interested and he told us how he'd been a member of the Hells Angels in his younger days and had tried nearly every drug known to man, and we were thinking "Cool. Big friendly badass biker repo-man." And just when we figured the guy was totally cool he said. "Then I found Je-sus." And started preaching to us. Our smiles of interest turned to grimaces as we hoped he wasn't going to stay too much longer.

He left the gas bar with an open invitation to the church he ministered at and gave us each a Chick Tract titled: "If Jesus was coming tonight."

Inside were some of the most bizarre statements I have ever read. The theme of the Tract was that if the second coming were this evening what would we be doing. Some of the things I remember from it were:

"There would be no petting parties on the roadside." (If anyone from Arkansas is reading this, Kyle and I would LOVE to know what a petting party is and what roadsides they're held on because we might go watch.)

"There would be no more bean suppers held in churches." (This was the other weird one we read, because I'm not sure of it's significance... are beans sinful? I know they can cause gas... and no one wants to sit next to a gassy person in church... but is there something particularly wrong about eating beans in church???)

Anyhow, we saved those tracts but I've not been able to find them anymore. Otherwise I'd be scanning them and posting them here for amusement and interpretation. If any of you know any good sites with humorous tracts on them please, send them my way.

Wow I'm Of Practice...

May 7, 2008
7 comments

I think I tried 10 titles for this post and usually I'm full speed ahead on the first try. I really haven't been writing much and boy does it show! I've been getting up every morning trying to read the perpetual number of unread feeds that shrook feeds me until life forces me from my computer to do productive things and the next day the number grows once again. Writing for me is a culmination of recent thoughts and my opinions on them, which isn't a great way to get a novel going but is fine enough for a blog. But these days I'm too rushed to really dwell on all the great stuff I'm pulling off the tubes so most of my reading doesn't flow to my fingers.

Yesterday I was interrupted from my daily dip in the putrescent river that is the internet by a girlfriend who demanded satisfaction! No, not that way... WORSE! She wanted to re-arrange the living room. So, after rolling my eyes I rose from the couch like a fat cat from some hibratory slumber and proceeded to perform on demand.

We got far more done than I expected even finding the time and motivation to re-arrange our bookshelves so that they resemble their purpose rather than the landslide of crap that they were before. Now they're more like great monolithic alters to consumerism.

The unexpected outcome to all this manual labor that I was forced to do is that now I have a living room that looks oddly... well good. The new furniture is looking nice, and the TV while a bit out of place gives the room the utility needed to become our premiere gathering spot, and the cat seems to like it, and we all know how important that is though I really wish he wouldn't express his pleasure by digging his claws into the microfiber with so much gusto. (At least we knew better than to buy leather.)

Anyhow I have pictures, no before shots unfortunately though if you look up some news footage of tornado wreckage that would give you an accurate impression of what the room was like 2 months ago.

Me and My Evil Cat

Apr 28, 2008
5 comments

Hi guys. Not been doing much blogging lately and for that I'm sorry. I missed last monday but today I remembered so today I show you pictures of me and my cat Lucifer. He's sad today kuz last night he scratched one of his eyes and today he's in pain. When he's in pain he becomes a huge suck. Normally he won't sit in anyone's lap for longer than 15 seconds and trying to pet him is a good exercise in reflexes, because he will try and bite you. But when he's in pain he becomes a lap cat.

Nonetheless, even though his spunk is drained the one eye half open thing still showcases his overall derangement.

Oh, and the couch we're sitting on is new. Last week we finished our Living room which now has a new couch a chez chair, and a new 37 inch LCD. So now my living room is more than a spot to park the computer desk. Yay us.

Photo 14

Photo 12

Color Photos From the 1930's

Apr 23, 2008
2 comments

Thanks to 37signals for blogging this.

This is one of those oddly novel experiences that I just love. Seeing a world in a totally different way then I'm used to. Black and white pictures do look lovely and rustic and interesting but color seems to have a way of bringing it all out into stark reality. Interestingly often times I was struck by the lack of color in the pictures.

Anyhow all this colorful goodness is due to the Library of Congress giving the internet some love with a Flicker account. Yay for the sharing of information! And pictures!

2178279885_908bbff704

Wednesday Yahtzee Smash Brother's Brawl Edition

Apr 23, 2008
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Well, I've been gone for a week and didn't deliver on last week's cheap cop-out theft type blogs that are my wonderful way of cheaping out and not creating real legitimate content. So please, feel free to send me tons of hateful comments. I invert their virulence and turn them into cupcakes. Anyhow, I totally disagree with Yahtzee's tone here kuz I found Smash Brother's Brawl fun as hell, it brought me back to the days of Mario 3 platforming and I loved it.

So hey, enjoy some Yahtzee just for the sake of enjoying it, kuz for all it's misguided venom, it's still the best review out there.

Zero Punctuation - Smash Brother's Brawl

Me and My Electric Violin

Apr 14, 2008
9 comments

Hi guys. Wow was it ever a quiet weekend for blogging. I spent this weekend at work as we're winding down to racking the rig for the next two months. Tuesday will be my last day out here and then I'm taking at least a month to chill and get the home life in order. I'm ready for it, believe me.

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 26. 25 Was a really good year, here's hoping 26 is even better.

So anyhow, because the rig is no longer drilling and there's no nightshift I got to go home last night on my birthday, and boy was I itching for it. Tash has been torturing me with taunts about my birthday gifts for the past month, so I was stoked to go.

I wasn't disappointed.

Amongst a few other things such as shirts and some really neat books was this.

Photo 11

My very own electric violin.

I've been wanting to get a violin and learn to play for the past 2 years. So I got this one. I have no idea what I'm doing with it yet, but I'll fix that shortly. It's small enough that I can bring out to work and practice, so I'm stoked.

So in honor of Electric Violin coolness, I'm gonna repost a video I tossed on here from last year, enjoy.

Halo Band

Because I'm Told Blogs Must Have Cats...

Apr 12, 2008
3 comments

I have a cat. His name is Lucy, that's short for Lucifer which is a very fitting name. We rescued him from a crack victim after his mother was hit by a car when he was only a week old. We fed him Cat milk from an eye dropper and he grew to quite a size. His sister isn't 1/3rd his size as she was malnourished on cows milk.

Anyhow, he is evil. When you come visit us he will tease you like a stripper by rubbing up against your leg like he actually intends some sort of affection to you. This is a lie. The second you try to pet him or move he will rend one of your limbs until it is no longer useful then return to nuzzling the bloody stump.

Handsome tho, isn't he?

Just Because I have a Reputation to Uphold...

Apr 10, 2008
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I will be instituting Thursday Ghastly as part of your regular scheduled blogging.

Last week on ghastly we introduced our endearing young tentacle monster Peep.

This week, Peep meets Smokey and a legend is born...

20020602

7 comments

For Redzilla

Apr 10, 2008
2 comments

I heard you were in a snarky mood today. Here's some fuel for the fire.

Scurry

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Dancing Bear said:
Iran was a huge ally of the USA until Religious zealots overthrew the Government, took Americans hostage and ravaged their... read more
on Republicans and National Security
Sheri said:
*snort* heheh. You might find the Jack Chick Parody Archive to be amusing. It's sophomoric humor, but enough for a... read more
on What Tracts are Good For
Kirk said:
Yes, and he's a remarkably litigious fellow, too! He can't stand being parodied and tries with all his might to... read more
on What Tracts are Good For
Toe-Knee said:
Oh, they're called Chick Tracts because a guy named Jack Chick invented them? That's excellent I didn't know that. Thanks! read more
on What Tracts are Good For
Toe-Knee said:
Thanks Shush. I hope you liked the comic. I find Chick boy particularly funny. Later on in the comic he... read more
on What Tracts are Good For