How Bad Was Jumper, Really?

So I just watched Jumper and I was sorta surprised, after all the horrible reviews it got I was expecting something that made Uwe Bol's movies look oscar-worthy.  l was totally ready to hate it and... I didn't.  

To all you guys who reviewed this and said it's shit I have one question; what were you expecting?  Because what the preview said you'd get was pretty much what was delivered.  Were you expecting an action movie on-par with the Matrix or something, because I sure wasn't even before I read all the reviews saying it was shit.

Let's look at what the preview promised.

Guy who can teleport: Check

Lots of exotic locales: Check

Envious playboy lifestyle making us want to buy macbooks, mercedes. and fancy clothes... Check

Hot girl:  Check

Fanatical adversary: Check

Decent Effects: Check

Plot with the Depth of a Spoon: Check

Allright, so far it delivered as promised.  It was a popcorn flick, it wasn't promising Oscar level acting or profound story, frankly I'm pleased that the world setting didn't fall apart from inconsistencies.

To me it's baffling that people could hate this movie because I remember a little flick called Spider Man.  Really it was a fairly similar movie in a lot of ways, premise was mostly the same, acting talent was the same, plot points were all the same.  But somehow Spider Man became the highest grossing movie sales in it's opening week ever, and was not beaten for nearly half a decade.  What's more, Spider Man promised something that it DID NOT deliver on, a witty hero.  Toby McGuire was the most uninspiring Spider Man there could have been.  To real Marvel fans, Spidey was always the essence of wit.  His banter in the comics was unparralelled, but in the movie he didn't deliver ONE single witty insult to the Goblin, nothing at all to make the audience laugh.  But still we ate it up and demanded more.  And more we got, 2 sequels each making more than the last.  I swear the only guy who actually played a character in those movies was the dude who played Jonah Jameson.  That guy had his character down.  But seriously guys, isn't there something wrong when VENOM delivers more  witty banter then good-ol spidey did?  That's seriously fucked.

So anyhow for all you guys who seem to be hungry to eviscerate a movie for some arbitrary reason, why not find one that actually deserves it, like the Brotherhood, or something by Uwe Bol.